49 shades of Cognitive Resonance (Odd Numbers creep me out)

49 shades of...We're more then what's presented on the outside.

Ah I couldn't wait to get to you all today. I literally stayed up writing this from about 1AM until 3 thinking teetering back and forth between emotion and thoughts. 

***Oh,oh, oh (side note) listen to songs mentioned on here while reading!***

**Massive attack- Paradise Circus** 

Become lost. Don't be afraid to let go of your grasp of reality, in moments you can afford to do so, (Mainly free-time at home. I tried this shit while driving almost crashed). It's disturbing to me the subconsocious restraints we continuously put on our minds. Living in our bubbles or the bubble that someone else has manufactured for us.

Fuck...if I could only tell you how many times I've subconsciously confined myself, let alone molded myself to fit in someone's ideal little fantasy of whom I should be. Whether it was out fear of self-embarrassment or not being understood. I've passed on things I've truly wanted to do in life, due to restraint I put on myself. 

I'm glad I caught myself before it was to late.

**Unfold- Alina Baraz & Galimatias**

I've learned, we've all learned, that life's CEU's are a bitch. 

And with that...
I've learned to live for myself (I still have regard for those around me but ultimately I live to appease myself) . 
"Well that's selfish of you Joseph." 
Is it really? I already have to live my life with enough, "what if's" or "I should've" this or that. I'll do whatever I can to eliminate to feeling of being empty from this moment forth, after all my casket only has room for one.

Moment of clarity: 
Indulge in self-worship, gratify yourself, Live for you. 
(Open to interpretation) 

**I never realized how therapeutic or freeing this is. Writing my feelings to share with literally, the world. A public diary (so much for being private).**

*sighs* "I long to feel free while still being alive..."

Ah thoughts of a different path

**Seconds- Ghost Loft**

I'll do my best to give you the emotion that I feel at the time of writing. I enjoy listening and feeling provoking music while writing, helps me connect to my thoughts. 

I hope I was of some service to you all today.
Lastly, a major thanks is in order to those of you who took the time out yesterday to not only read, but send feedback. *smiles*

Your input is very welcome and very vital to this being a successful Blog. 

Until then...The Weeknd-Tell Your Friends 

Peace, peace, peace.

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